First, these events happened yesterday, exactly as described…I can’t make this stuff up. Long post- get coffee or your beverage of choice. I went for a trail hike with my Trail Sisters group and survived the steep, icy Platte River State Park trails with my spikes and poles……until the last 50 ft or so. I made 2 miles without incident….until then. Steep slick ice downhill followed by a climb out. I had done so well at that point and another gal slid down, saying it was smooth non bumpy ice. I asked my friend Coleen to hold my poles while sat down and slid down. It Started out well but halfway down I veered to one side had a close encounter with a short stump. It was more of painful, yet intimate, encounter as it snagged my favorite running tights and ripped both them and my undies. This gave me the equivalent of an atomic wedgie as my underwear and tights were nearly torn off as I flipped over, thus mooning all the others looking on. My sunglasses went flying and I lay there, ass exposed and bleeding to the 29 others in our group, wondering how in the holy hell this happened and how badly have I hurt myself now. I lay there for a moment, exposed, contemplating my predicament and how to best get up and out to my car. My right ass cheek and upper thigh were suffering a bad road rash and the skin was stripped off in a fairly good area. It burned, I thought about how lovely a shower will feel— if you know, you know it will burn like fire. I asked if I suffered damage to other orifices in my nether region that could be seen and asked my friend to take a photo so I could see the damage. I got up and in doing so I noticed my left wrist hurting. I thought to myself; I didn’t fall on it, maybe when I flipped to my side and onto my belly that it could have bent weird. I had to have my trail Angel Coleen walk behind me hiding my ass until we got on concrete and she tied my coat around my waist. I couldn’t move my wrist without severe pain at this point. I had to ask the gal who parked next to me to help pull my seatbelt out from behind me and close the door since i could not. I drove myself the 37 minute trip from the park to Orthowest Urgent care and called Mike, asking him to bring me underwear and pants and meet me there. I got there with no issues but asked for a non upholstery chair to sit on while waiting since i was bleeding and oozing fluids like a wounded snail. I’ll need to get the bloody stains out of my front seat another day. By now it was almost noon and my intermittent fasting period was over so now I was starving as well as shaky and cold. Mike to the rescue- he ran across to McDs and got me a happy meal. Let’s say whatever little modesty I had left is gone. I had to stand, unclothed from waist down and one leg up on a stool so they could clean my abraded ass cheek- that stung. I got a cool pair of long silky black shorts to wear and went commando to keep underwear seams off my sore butt. I was really styling in those shorts and merino wool crew Feetures and trail shoes. Thank God we are home. I have a unicortical distal radial fracture and in a half cast for now. Next week they will put a full cast on. It’s not displaced and it’s a small crack. They will be consulting with their hand guy to ensure I won’t need surgery and hardware. Let’s hope I don’t. Send prayers and positive vibes. It’s good to be home with ice on my butt. I’ll ice up wrist next. Hot coffee tasted mighty fine because I was freezing. Huge shout out to Coleen who stayed with me til I got to my car. She is my trail angel. Love you girtl! It was a lovely but challenging hike until I encountered that damn stump. If I’m going to encounter 6 inches of wood, that’s not what Í have in mind. I was stumped and stumped hard. Í feel like someone took a bat to my nether region. At 70 I try to be careful in my adventures and I find it extremely ironic that I busted my arm sliding on my butt to prevent falling down that dang hill and breaking something! I was sitting and sliding as a preventive measure. It was a freak accident. I’m very active and some of my activities involve some risk. when you’re active, accidents can happen. I’m glad it’s only a broken wrist and soft tissue injury. My husband tells me to stick to the treadmill…..yeah, like THAT’s going to happen. Guess my snowshoeing and winter hiking is over this season but spring is right around the corner!
